Author’s Foreword from Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light Book 1: Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing (aka A Formula for Spiritual Integration and Emotional Balance
““Truth, in my understanding, is not an intellectual concept. I believe that Truth is an emotional-energy, vibrational communication to my consciousness, to my soul/spirit – my being, from my Soul. Truth is an emotion, something that I feel within.
It is that feeling within when someone says, or writes, or sings, something in just the right words so that I suddenly feel a deeper understanding. It is that “AHA” feeling. The feeling of a light bulb going on in my head. That “Oh, I get it!” feeling. The intuitive feeling when something just feels right . . . or wrong. It’s that gut feeling, the feeling in my heart. It is the feeling of something resonating within me. The feeling of remembering something that I had forgotten – but do not remember ever knowing.” – quotes in this color are from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
In my life, and especially in my recovery which began on January 3rd 1984, I have had moments of insight – intuitive messages – that in my memory are like fuzzy snap shots of where I was at the moment of the insight or message. The earliest one which I remember occurred when I was a teenager. It must have been when I was a sophomore or junior in high school because the message came as I was walking down a street in Souix City Iowa where I went to a dentist who kept braces on my teeth for 5 years. The message that I got that day – the memory of the future that came to me – was that I was going to write a book of Truth someday. At the time, I had no idea where the thought had come from – or any idea of what Truth was – so I dismissed it, but never forgot it.
Through the years that followed, I would sometimes say that I wanted to be a writer – even formally stated that was one the reasons I was quitting a job with the Civil Service and moving to Hollywood California in 1975 – but I didn’t do any writing. When I moved to Hollywood, I started taking acting classes and pursuing an acting career – but would occasionally make a half hearted attempt to do some writing. I had such a huge resistance to writing that I thought I hated it.
I didn’t actually start forcing myself to write until the fall of 1988. That year, my fifth year in recovery from alcoholism, I had gone through a 30 day treatment program for codependence. The healing that I learned to do there – especially the deep grief work – and messages I received during and at the end of the 30 days and through that summer – led me to believe that I was to be a messenger for what I was beginning to believe was Truth (with a capital T.) That I was in fact meant to stand up in public and state my Truth even if the whole world thought I was crazy.
The first project that I started working on was what I called a Mystical, Magical, Adult Fable about the history of the Universe. I called it The Dance of Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1 In the beginning. It actually started with the phrase “Once upon a time.” The writing I did for that book is available on my website. It is a book that I haven’t finished, and that I don’t believe I will ever finish. The purpose of the writing I did for that book was to enlarge my perspective so that I could better understand the condition of codependence and develop a more Loving relationship with my self.
In the next couple of years I was focusing on doing my inner child healing / codependency recovery and intermittently working on this Adult Fairy Tale without ever really knowing what I was going to do with it. I don’t think I ever really considered that it would be published – I just knew I was seeing things in a larger perspective that was helping me to start overcoming my programming from childhood that told me that it was sinful and shameful to be human.
Then in the winter and spring of 1991 – as the codependence movement was becoming widely known in our society – I was asked to speak in some different places about codependence. In those speaking engagement something kind of magical happened – in that the the work I was doing on my inner child healing, and the things I was learning in writing the Adult Fable, suddenly came together. I was quite surprised by this as I thought the writing I was doing was much too “far out” to share with the general public.
What I realized because of these speaking engagements, was that there was a message coming through me that I needed to explore further. I set dates for giving a talk in June of 1991 on the Central Coast of California where I was living at the time. Then after setting the dates I found it impossible to write that talk. The message that I wanted to share with people was multi leveled and non linear and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to structure it. As the date for the first talk approached I became increasingly anxious and desperate to figure out how to convey this message that I felt I was meant to share with people. Finally in fit of desperation I wrote almost continually for the last 48 hours before I gave that talk. When I got up to give that talk that first time it was in longhand on yellow legal pages – and I was terrified of what the reaction was going to be from the audience.
That talk on June 16th 1991 was the birth of my book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls. The basic structure came during that desperate 48 hours of writing. It evolved and expanded in the coming years as I kept revising and giving the talk, but when I was able to publish it in late 1995 it was a direct result of desperately writing to meet a deadline.
So, I had published my “book of Truth” – and though it was definitely my writing, my words, my perspectives, my book – it has never really felt like something that I decided to sit down and plan out and write. It wasn’t like something I had created out of my self – but instead something that I had been guided to create out of my Self in my quest to heal my self.
After publishing The Dance, I started writing a monthly column (first for a new age newspaper in San Luis Obispo California and then later for a recovery Newspaper in Texas and finally for an online directory.) I still resisted writing and was usually only able to do it because I had a deadline.
In February 1998 – after being urged, nagged, and pushed by a friend – I started my first crude website. I then wrote some articles for that site – although most of them were directly the result of articles I had written on deadlines. In February 1999, I launched Joy2MeU.com and shortly after that found that the costs of starting the website and the loss of some clients suddenly put me in a position where I had to give up the place I as living. For 6 months I was living either in my office, or crashing on friends couches. It was during that time that I started the Joy2MeU Journal. The Joy2MeU Journal was a subscription area of my site that I started with the intention of publishing my next books since I didn’t have the financing available to do them any other way. It however turned into something quite different and ended up being a place where I shared writing about my recovery journey and a person journal in which I shared the process writing of my growth process – as well as some of my more controversial and far out metaphysical writings.
It was in writing for that Journal in the summer of 1999 that I first wrote a draft of several chapters of this book: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light. I didn’t get very far with writing this book before I got caught up in other writing projects. What I came to find out is that I didn’t hate writing – what I hated was getting started on writing something new. Once I got started I would get into what I called a writing frenzy and write for days and weeks on whatever it was that had sparked the initial writing.
I had done a lot of writing for the Journal and my website through the rest of 99 and the beginning of 2000. But starting in September of 2000, when a gift from someone who loved my book allowed me to get moved back to the small town of Cambria where I could live comfortably in a little garage apartment, the writing really exploded for me. I would start on a project and be consumed by it for weeks – often rising at 1 or 2 am to write for 10 or 12 hours. I would start out writing an article on some topic that had been brought to my attention by the Universe or other people, and it would turn into a 5 part or 9 part or whatever series of articles or online book.
In September of 2001 my goal was to get back to working on Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light as the follow up book to The Dance. This was my process level – how to – book about the inner child healing approach that I developed in my recovery. I was having great resistance – as usual – to getting back into writing this book, and then on September 11th I woke up to TV coverage of the World Trade Center collapsing. I immediately understood that the reason for my resistance right then was that there was something else that needed to be written first. I was off an running with an online book about what I saw as a blatant manifestation of the human condition of codependency. I had finished writing Attack on America: A Spiritual Healing Perspective (which I started publishing online on 9/23/01) in early 2002 and shortly after was off and running on a new online book that I hope to publish at some point that will be Codependency Recovery: Dancing in The Light Book 2.
From 1999 through 2005 I wrote millions of words (at least 5,000,000, probably more) that were published on my website and elsewhere. I continued writing an online column for the Internet Directory until October 2005. The columns that I wrote – first for newspapers and then for the directory – were short articles (supposed to be 1000 words but probably averaging more like 1200 since once I start writing I have a hard time stopping;-) written on a deadline. The many articles I wrote for my Joy2MeU.com were much longer and mostly the result of a writing frenzy in which I was compelled to write. All of the things I wrote were perfectly timed to be part of my healing / recovery process as I was transitioning from writing theoretically to actually living what I was writing about.
My personal inner child healing has been so successful that I have gone from living in isolation with a relationship phobia and a terror of intimacy to celebrating the 6th anniversary (June 15th 2011) of living with someone in an intimate relationship (that became a marriage in January 2011) that has included the precious gift of being the primary caregiver in raising an amazing little boy for the past 5 plus years (my wife’s grandson who is now 6 1/2.) As a result I don’t have time to write much these days – and haven’t for the last 4 to 5 years.
So, once again I am publishing a book that is not the result of sitting down and planning and writing according to that plan. This book is a compilation of writings from my website. I have built this book around a 23 articles series that I wrote for that internet directory (although many of those article were based upon or grew out of articles and web pages published previously on Joy2MeU.com.) To those 23 articles (some of which I have added to or expanded upon herein) I have added 8 of my web articles, an excerpt from one of my online books, and a handout I use in the Intensive Training Workshops that I have been offering since April 2006. The 23 articles were around 27,000 words – while the additional material added another 35,000 or so words to this book.
Part of the reason that I was able to write so much for the internet is that it proved to be a format that really worked for me. I discovered and developed my own style of writing for the internet that some people don’t like much but that I am quite fond of myself. Because I wrote these articles so that they could be understood by someone who just happened upon any particular page of my site – there is a lot of repetition of certain phrases or explanations. This is something else that some people find irritating – but which I feel really works for codependents. I have said for years that it is not possible to tell a codependent too many times that it wasn’t their fault. Repeating certain things is what it takes to get it to sink in for many of us. The programming is so insidious and powerful that often we need to read something a number times before that light bulb goes on – the “Oh I get it” – moment of intuitive understanding.
So, there is some repetition. Some of the articles are quoted in other articles. Every articles contains at least one quote from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls (these are all in italics) – and so some of those quotes are repeated a number of times.
There are so many levels and aspects to this process that – though the chapters are in a certain order – it is not necessary to read them in that order. It might be better for some people to jump around to the chapter headings that catch their attention. If for instance, you want to better understand my definition of spirituality – you might want to read chapter 28 first. You might want to read chapter 35 about Co-Creation or Chapter 27 about grieving depending on where you are at in your recovery process today. Almost all of them, as I mentioned, were written to stand alone – so it is possible to jump around between chapters if your Spirit moves you to do that. There is no right and wrong when it comes to doing recovery – or to reading this book. The important thing is to be “doing” recovery – that is, taking action to change your attitudes, perspectives, and behaviors so that you can stop being trapped in relating to your self, life, and other people out of the childhood emotional wounds and intellectual programming.
In my writing in this book, I am sharing my experience, strength, and hope. I hope that you will find it valuable in your recovery.” – Author’s Foreword from Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light Book 1: Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing (aka A Formula for Spiritual Integration and Emotional Balance) by Robert Burney
The beginning chapters of The Dance of Wounded Souls Trilogy Book 1 In the beginning are online – and the prologue does start “Once upon a time.”
The Joy2MeU Journal is a subscription area of my site that includes the Magical, Mystical, Adult Spiritual Fable that I call the Trilogy as well as the Attack on America online book.
Dancing in Light is another subscription area that includes the Attack on America book as well as Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light Book 2: A Dysfunctional Relationship with Life (which actually started as an answer to a web article by a very codependent marriage counselor who claims that The codependency movement was ruining marriages)
Special offers for either / or both subscription areas of my site are on the special sale page.
This Author’s Foreword is not included in the audio book version of Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light Book 1: Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing which is being published in a matter of days.
The Adult Fable that I call the Trilogy is actually different from The Wounded Souls Trilogy: That Trilogy (unlike the Trilogy Book 1 which will never be finished let alone have two books follow it) includes Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls A Cosmic Perspective on Codependence and the Human Condition, Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light Book 1 Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing, and Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light Book 2: A Dysfunctional Relationship with Life (in the online subscription area.)
When you purchase Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in The Light Book 1 Empowerment, Freedom, and Inner Peace through Inner Child Healing through Joy2MeU you get a personally autographed copy;-) but you can also purchase through Amazon.com or Amazon UK or Barnes & Noble.